Category Archives: Fame On A Friday

Fame On A Friday: Adele gives the finger and gets support, bad luck MIA

Adele's message to 'The Suits'

The main story this week has been the controversy surrounding the monumentally poor decision to cut off Adele in the midst of her speech after winning the most important award at The Brits. The luckless James Corden has been bombarded with abuse ever since, which is a bit unfair, but then again I doubt that the award bigwigs have a Twitter account.

It seems that everyone is thinking the same thing – listening to Adele give a heartfelt speech in her usual genuine way would have been a lot more entertaining than hearing Damon Albarn wail into a microphone, during which it became painfully clear that Blur are past their best. The overwhelming support for Adele demonstrates just how different our nation is from our American neighbours. While her middle-fingered gesture of frustration has been lauded as a just and necessary message to The Brits bosses, the outrage surrounding MIA’s flipping of the bird during the Superbowl has actually managed to overshadow Madonna’s comeback performance. MADONNA.

The gyrating wannabe teenager put on a 12 minute performance that featured acrobatic dance moves, a King Xerxes-style carnival float and all of the most popular music acts in the charts at the moment. And yet, a one second gesture from an already-known-to-be-controversial singer has overshadowed the entire thing. Madge must be well and truly pissed.

MIA has been accused of corrupting the minds of innocent children by multiple over-zealous conservative groups (who else?), nevermind that they were already watching a show which featured men attacking each other for the sake of a few seconds of holding a ball. Or the presence of other salacious acts, such as Nicki Minaj, whose songs have recently made stars out of two young British girls, Sophia Grace and Rosie. They regularly appear on TV shows such as Ellen, singing her not quite PG-13 lyrics. God forbid that the children of America should see a person’s finger!

Furthermore, the middle finger gesture is so established as school playground fodder that it’s practically childish for these two well-respected artists to express themselves in such a way. Couldn’t they just have written c*nt on their arses and flashed that? If you’re going to corrupt the minds of a young generation, you might as well go the whole hog.

[Image via dailyrecord.co.uk]

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Fame On A Friday: The Award Shows Don’t Know My Schedule

My Colin proves that he is true gentleman

 

This week’s Fame On A Friday is slightly belated, as the BAFTAs held their ceremony last Sunday with no regard for my blog. How dare they. I was going to try to find some other story to talk about, but the BAFTAs are just too big to ignore, especially when you want to win one some day.

To no one’s surprise, The Artist scooped the majority of the golden faces, leading Peter Straughan, writer/adapter of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy and my award for Speech of the Night, to remark that he “would like to thank The Artist for not being adapted from a book” when he picked up his award. He went on to pay a touching tribute to his late wife and writing partner Bridget O’Connor, who recently passed away.

Stephen Fry was a delightful host, as always, bringing in just the right amount of risque humour to alleviate the boredom without becoming the pilloried yet hilarious figure of Ricky Gervais. His shameless flirting with Brad Pitt seemed to make the Hollywood star a touch uncomfortable, but then again he should really be used to it by now.

Someone else who never fails to catch my attention is the lovely Colin Firth, who is always referred to as ‘My Colin’, for it will (eventually) be so. He underlined the fact that he is a perfect gentleman when Holy Meryl lost her shoe on her way up to collect the Best Actress award (it’s a wonder that she has any cupboard space left). My Colin was straight in there to save the day and return CinderMeryl’s glass slipper, providing the tabloids with some ‘proper’ news to report on the next day. It’s not like they would mentioned anything else about the ceremony, aside from the red carpet delights and disasters.

And so we look ahead to next weekend’s Oscars, where The Artist is pretty much a shoe in for every single award, even the ones in which they weren’t nominated. And I hope they do. The Artist was such an exciting and new experience, I’ve never been in such a silent cinema before, or had the urge to clap as the credits rolled. It was an utter joy and deserves every single accolade. Particularly Jean Dujardin, who is pretty much Gene Kelly reincarnated it seems. Lovely man. Also, is anyone else giddy with excitement for Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo? It’s so rare to see a comedy nominated that I actually find myself feeling so proud of them for achieving so much, it’s the same feeling that I have whenever I see Martin Freeman in full-hobbit. So proud. Maybe even Andy Serkis will finally get a nomination for The Hobbit one day, it’s about time that he was recognised for such stellar and pioneering work.

However, there is a dark cloud hanging over next weekend’s proceedings, the sad truth is that the Oscars too have decided to ignore my carefully thought out blog schedule, and are holding the long-awaited ceremony on a Saturday. Bastards.

 

[Image via mirror.co.uk]

 

 

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Fame On A Friday (on a Saturday Potluck): Has Hollywood finally got some morals?

Hollywood's most normal couple?

Apologies for the lateness, again, it seems that I am particularly unproductive on Fridays, so for this week I’m amalgamating Friday and Saturday into one. Anyway, I want to talk about Hollywood’s most amicable divorce, that of Katy Perry and Russell Brand. I think that Ms. Perry may be the first person in history to end their marriage with a smiley face, and Russell Brand possibly the only less famous spouse who won’t take a penny from their meal ticket. Of course, Russell Brand is certainly famous and rich, but I suspect nowhere near on the scale of his ex-wife, who regularly sells out areas all over the world. What has struck me is the common sense of his [supposed] reason, basically that he wouldn’t dream of taking money that Katy herself has earned. They also decided against a pre-nup for similar reasons, that they would never get to the point where they would want to take everything from one another. How completely human and un-Hollywood. Although they doesn’t seem to be the only one: Kris Humphries has said that he’s not interested in Kim Kardashian’s money, just in proving that she’s a fraud. Good luck with that Kris, she’s a billionaire in charge of how you’re edited on screen, and could probably have you killed with a wink of one her false eyelashes. Kim K is definitely evil and conniving, but the fact is that everyone already knows that about her and yet still chooses to watch one the many shows that her and her godawful family churn out. The Kardashian-Jenners are the vermin of TV, and cockroaches are notoriously hard to kill.

In other news, Halle Berry is proving to be a queen bitch in her custody battle with Gabriel Aubry for their stunning daughter Nahla. From what I can see Aubry wants equal visitation with his child, while Berry wants to get a restraining order for her ex and then move to France. Today the judge in their case decided that Aubry would have to have supervised visits with Nahla, after a nanny alleged that he pushed her while she was holding his daughter. Sounds a bit like someone is sucking up to the Oscar winner to me, but hey, maybe the beautiful Adonis man is violent. Which must be why there are so many photo ops of him gazing adoringly into his daughter’s eyes. Sometimes it can be so wearing to keep up with the various contrivances of the rich and famous, which is why Russell Brand and Katy Perry are such a breath of fresh air. Here’s hoping it continues.

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(Slightly Late) Fame On A Friday: When will Madonna just go away?

My Friday post is slightly late, I apologise, I went out for dinner last night and was too busy reliving a particularly amazing chocolate fondant to focus on the blog. So today is a jumbo BOGOF deal! And the honour of my chosen subject for the first ‘Fame On A Friday’ goes to Madonna…I’m sure she’s truly thrilled.

It seems that, after a nice long while in obscurity, this muscly bag of skin and attitude has come back with a vengeance – movie, album, Super Bowl performance – and she’s as difficult to like as ever.

To begin, the much maligned ‘W.E.’ firmly underlines what seemed perfectly obvious to everyone but Madge, she has not and will never be a Brit. For a while there she was wearing tweed, riding horses on her country estate and attempting some sort of accent that has no place anywhere on this world. We were humouring her out of a mixture of pity and embarrassment, but now she really has gone too far. No self-respecting Briton will ever be favourably predisposed towards Wallis Simpson. Yes, I understand that a lot of Americans cling on to the idea that she is their link to the royal family, but they are the same people who call themselves British because one of their ancestors came over on The Mayflower. In which case, according to my grandparents family tree research, someone with my (rather unusual) surname coming over to England with William the Conqueror makes me French. The truth is that Wallis Simpson was a Nazi sympathizer who throughly buggered up our royal family, forcing poor, stuttering Colin Firth to make an uplifting speech on the radio right before WWII. I mean come on, the man had to make us feel uplifted as we were heading for an almighty rumble with the Fuhrer! What a bitch.

But anyway back to Madonna, she has now brought out a new single, a new video and her not-even-released album is currently number 1 on iTunes in every country throughout the world, even isolated Amazonian tribes are getting excited for ‘M.D.N.A.’ it would seem. Good for her. And I suspect that, were she to turn up for her Super Bowl performance wearing a holey cardigan and comfort sandals, people would still be struck by the brightness of her wonder. But the point is that she won’t, she’s going to be wearing something that even Miley Cyrus would call risque. Once again I’m going to have to wash my eyes out with acid to remove the imprint of a middle-aged woman writhing half-naked on a stage in front of her teenage daughter. Ugh.

Now I’m not saying that women in their 50s should have to dress like OAPs, just look at Andi MacDowell. She has lost none of the beauty that captivated us in Four Weddings, but I have yet to see her sporting a lycra leotard. If only Madonna would stop with the freakishly muscly and fatless physique, stop borrowing Lourdes’ clothes (SHE’S 15!), and leave. Her face. ALONE. She and Demi Moore should form some sort of self-help group for women who strive to look younger but really just end up looking like some sort scrotum. Teri Hatcher might want to join as well.

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